Jellal's Addiction
by ASecretToEveryone
Summary: Jellal has never told Erza the thing he longs for the most, but she knows anyway, and denies him whenever she can, out of love. Short kind of smutty (but not really) story about Jellal and Erza dealing with the fact that he may never forgive himself.


Erza ran her thumb over the lower half of Jellal's tattoo, watching his eyes, feeling his hands fumble with the buttons of her Henley t-shirt. Slowly, he slid his hands down her sides and gently pulled her shirt over her head before meeting her eyes and flashing a grin.

She loved it when he took it slowly like this. Erza knew she was more frantic when they made love, but Jellal took his time when she let him, which occasionally, she did.

Her fingers grazed the skin of his arms as she moved them down to his waist where she began fiddling with his belt while he occupied himself with placing soft kisses from her collarbone to the top of her breasts. Once undone, she attempted to remove his pants despite her view being blocked by the top of his head, expressing her irritation with a small grunt, which Jellal ignored, pulling her body in closer to his and expanding the range of his kisses.

The redhead wanted to complain again but she knew this was his way of asking her to let him take his time with her, and she forced herself to oblige since it was rare Jellal would ever actually ask for something versus let himself enjoy whatever she offered.

However, he always had one unspoken desire.

Finally removing her bra, Jellal allowed Erza to yank his dark jeans down from his hips, stepping out of them as he lifted her and move their activity to the bed. Neither of them had a preference for who topped, it was something that was decided through letting the moment play itself out. This time Erza ended up straddling Jellal's hips, thin sheets of fabric still between the places that needed the most attention, Erza beginning to feel the burn in her gut to close any and all distance between them.

Jellal returned his attention to kissing her neck and when he was sure she was distracted enough, slid one hand between her legs eliciting a loud moan from the requip mage. Her fingers tensed in his hair and he let out a satisfied grunt.

Jellal was truthfully rather shameless when it came to Erza. The only boundaries he had with her were the ones she set, and typically that was very few, that number dropping to zero when it came to sex; there was no pleasure that he would deny her. However, there was one pleasure Erza often denied him.

He knew better than to ask, he never said the words out loud, but she could read him too well, and knew the signals when her fingers pulled at his hair too hard, or her nails dug too deep into his skin in the heat of the moment.

Jellal had an unspoken desire for his pain amid her pleasure.

It was one of the ways he felt he could atone for not all of his sins, but those which he committed towards Erza. He knew she would never truly hurt him, but he longed for the moments when she got carried away during sex and would carve his skin with her finger nails, occasionally rake them down his back if he hit all the right spots. Erza never intended to harm him, and never realized how bad about it she was until one time, he climax overwhelmed her and she dug too deeply into his shoulder, drawing the slightest bit of blood.

" _Jellal, I'm so – Ooh," She panted trying to recover from her high. "I'm so, so sorry."_

" _It's fine." He whispered into her neck, laughing softly. "It's really okay."_

 _Erza calmed herself with one last shudder before more closely examining the blunt scratches. She frowned at his shoulder, carefully brushing over it with one finger._

" _Erza," He brushed her scarlet locks away from her face. "Really it's okay, I –"_

 _He stopped himself mid-sentence. He bit his tongue at the thought of what he almost said._

 _I liked it._

 _I wanted it._

 _I need it._

 _Any one of those would have absolutely crushed her._

 _However, despite his silence, when he looked up and met her chocolate colored eyes, he knew she had finished the sentence on her own._

 _Thankfully, she hadn't been mad that night. She was quiet, but after Jellal's pleading for her to say something, anything, Erza gently told him he was no longer the person he thought he was, and that the only one who had yet to forgive him was himself._

They never spoke of it again after that, but every now and then there would be a moment where their eyes would catch and she would see in his expression what he wanted from her most.

And it was something she would then, without words, convince him he didn't need.


End file.
